In a roundtable discussion featuring fathers in research positions at Hokkaido University—specifically focusing on male researchers raising children—four men in their 30s who are raising children while working as teachers or researchers at Hokkaido University shared their experiences balancing marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, childcare, and work, as well as how they chose their career paths.
*Due to scheduling constraints, we interviewed A, B, and C in a roundtable format, while D was interviewed individually on the same topic. This article summarizes what all four participants said, organized by theme.
Part 1: Marriage and the division of household chores with your partner ← This is where we are today.
Part 2: Everyone's experiences with pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare
Third installment: How to balance work and family life...?
To everyone we interviewed this time
Mr. AI am a student in a science-related faculty. I am raising two children, aged 5 and 3.
The partner's parents live in Sapporo, while A's parents live within Hokkaido.
Mr. BShe is a student in a science-related faculty and is raising a one-year-old child.
Both sets of parents live outside of Hokkaido.
Mr. CI'm a student in a science faculty. I'm raising two children, ages 5 and 0.
Due to a life event, Ms. C is currently living alone. Her partner's parents live outside Hokkaido, while Ms. C's parents live within Hokkaido.
Mr. DI am a student in the Faculty of Medicine, Dentistry, or Pharmaceutical Sciences. I am raising two children, aged 5 and 3.
The partner's parents live outside the prefecture, while D's parents live within the city.
Our "marriage" as university researchers
After obtaining a degree, you'll have to decide whether to pursue research in a private company or in academia... and this will also depend on your life plans, including marriage.
---Did any of you have a desire to get married?
Mr. CI wanted to have a family, so I thought it would be best to have children as early as possible.
Mr. AI did want to have children. But if you ask me if I wanted to get married when I was looking for a partner, I'd say not quite... but I guess I really did want to get married.
Mr. B: Well, I always wanted to get married someday, but I feel like my wife kind of controlled the timing... She started to rush me into proposing, and that's how we got married. (laughs)
—Has getting married affected your research or work?
Mr. AI got married while I was in my doctoral program. I was planning to study abroad for six months, and my partner wanted to go with me, so that was the right timing. At the time, I was receiving funding from the Japan Society for the Promotion of Science, so I didn't have any financial worries, and I had already secured a job at a Japanese company after my studies, so I didn't see any particular problems.
Even when I decided to pursue a career in the corporate world, I knew I would have to decide within three years whether to go into academia or stay in the company, but I struggled with the decision. The deciding factors for choosing academia were my desire to do research, the fact that the opportunity for that position at Hokkaido University came up at just the right time, and the fact that I was pregnant with my first child and could raise my child in Sapporo, all of which led me to decide to take on the challenge. My partner's family is also from Sapporo.
Mr. BI met my wife when I was living outside of Hokkaido. As for getting married, it was around the time I moved to Hokkaido, but rather than me being anxious, my wife had never left her hometown, so I think she was quite anxious about getting married and living in Hokkaido. I was in a special position, a fixed-term position, so I think that also made my wife anxious, but I thought if I looked anxious about anything, she would become even more anxious, so I just acted like, "It's totally fine!" and we got married. I think there's no point in thinking about it. As for career advancement from a special position, in the end, I think all you can do is work hard and if you are given an opportunity, take it. It's not really strategically successful, so I think it's just about working hard and honestly. By accumulating achievements, the possibility of a position opportunity coming your way increases, and when that happens, you do your best to take it.
Mr. CMy previous assignment was outside of Hokkaido, and I met my partner there. When we decided we wanted to get married, we did so without any particular problems.
Mr. D: I knew that academia isn't exactly a stable profession, so I had some financial worries. I was a working doctoral student, so I did have some income, but even after obtaining my doctorate, there was no guarantee that I would have another (academic) position, so I felt that it wasn't stable in that respect, and I was a little worried.
I had my anxieties, but I guess I got married on impulse. My wife had also said that she wanted to get married by the time she was around 30, considering the possibility of having children, so I couldn't just keep putting it off, and that's why I took the plunge.
—I've heard that researchers have fewer opportunities to meet people. What was your experience like? How did you all end up getting married?
Mr. ALooking at people my age around me, it seems that more or less that those who are married are people they met during their student days.
Mr. BI had a boyfriend when I was a student, but he broke up with me the moment I told him I was moving out of the prefecture. So I started going to a lot of matchmaking events, and that's where I met my current wife. I guess you could say I went to these events to increase my chances of meeting someone. I don't know if that's the right way to put it, though.
Mr. CI met my wife at my previous workplace.
Mr. AI've also participated in something like a group blind date.
Mr. D: I was also a classmate of yours during my student days. I definitely felt that there were fewer opportunities to meet people during my master's and doctoral studies. In my case, I was working while attending doctoral programs, so I was just too busy to have time for anything else.
Continued on the next page!
How do other people manage housework and childcare?
